A LIFE OF PAIN

I can’t imagine what it would be like to live the majority of your life in a great deal of pain. They claim giving birth is the worst pain and though I’ve experienced that, getting your tonsils removed at age 32 wins hands down. But those experiences only last for a brief period of time.

My grandmother, Annie, became bedridden a few years after Dad was born. Annie had tuberculosis of the bone and couldn’t sit up let alone move on her own. Annie’s mother took care of the family with the help of her oldest daughter, Olive. Dad says his mom was always pleasant and never complained. My grandmother died a year after my parents got married. Unfortunately, I never got the chance to meet her, but what a great role model!


In the 10th grade my brother, Don, was diagnosed with slipped capital femoral epiphysis, or in other words, a separation of the ball of the hip joint from the thigh bone (femur) at the upper growing end (growth plate) of the bone. (Did that make it any clearer?) An analogy to describe this condition would be like a scoop of ice cream slipping off the top of a cone. Don had surgery to stabilize the bone with a metal bracket and pins to prevent further slippage or displacement of the ball of the hip joint.

I remember this gaunt lad on crutches who persevered through the pain. Although the surgery cut short his track career in high school, a few years later Don was able to teach tennis for the city and at tennis clubs. Looking back at that time I would describe my brother as somewhat of a geek, but in later years Don reminded us of Tom Selleck and was once mistaken for Mel Gibson (before I knew who MG was) so that tells you something. The ugly duckling turned into a swan (a cob, not a pen).

In the late 1980s Don’s hip started to slowly deteriorate and became arthritic. Toward the last few years, his limping reminded me of Frankenstein’s assistant, Igor. It was very sad to observe the agony of each step. After many years of procrastination, Don received a hip replacement in the fall of 2003. There was pain, a lot of therapy and the crutches made the scene once again, but the results were remarkable. Don could move his leg freely with no discomfort. No pain. You could see the relief in his eyes as well as the tears of happiness and joy in his upright walking. Yes, my brother has my admiration.


My Aunt Lois was born in 1919 and recently celebrated her 87th birthday. She has had arthritic pain since age 7. Over the years Lois has endured two knee replacements and two hip replacements. In 2004, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy. In 2005, she was diagnosed with lung cancer and the doctors hoped Lois would live long enough to see the birth of her first grandchild. Heather was born in November of last year. Recently, my aunt was diagnosed with bone cancer and has been under hospice care. Last week we learned that the doctors have given Lois two weeks to two months to live. Although not wanting to leave her son and family, I know it will come as a blessing. I’ve talked to my aunt about dying, and she is ready. Lois has endured tremendous pain as well as other health issues and has the proverbial pharmaceutical medicine cabinet to prove it. Saturday my parents and I will make another trip down to San Diego County to visit Lois for what might be the final time.

Those who live with chronic pain have my respect and admiration. If given a similar situation, it’s very doubtful I could do it with such grace, class, or perseverance.