WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

Wasn’t sure what to title this piece. There were so many choices—Irony, Just a Coincidence, Somebody is Trying to Tell You Something; Kind of Creepy. Many people believe certain circumstances are callings from God. Many people wonder if their circumstances in life are meant to be. Prayers are offered up for all kinds of reasons. How does one really know when it’s the real deal?

Soon my three-month subscription to e-Harmony will expire. The majority of my matches were closed due to proximity or failure to communicate. Forgot how frustrating relationships can be and the fluctuation of emotions—feeling up in the beginning of the week and down and depressed toward the end. The last time I reported on the challenges of internet dating, my hope about Mr. Vegas had dwindled. Well, we are still communicating and started talking on the phone two months ago; however, until recently, it was a roller coaster ride of emotions for me and it was necessary to accept that I was not a priority and unsure what rank I was on his list of importance; but things have seemed different this past week. The man is extremely busy and although he has an optimistic outlook on life, he’s much more cautious than me; however, from the outset Ken did say the worse case scenario--we would become friends; to me the start of any great relationship.

We still have not met but next week that will change when Ken comes to Orange County on business. We get along fabulously communicating in writing and on the phone, but he keeps reminding me that eyeball to eyeball will be the test and there may not be any vibes. No, no pressure here, folks. Just makes you want to get a complete makeover--facelift, nose job, hair transplant, boob job, and have the teeth capped. For me there’s no doubt that my feelings will become stronger, but my pessimistic side thinks he’ll just walk away…To say I’m very scared and nervous would be an understatement. Guess it’s do or die time.

In a past blog I alluded to the fact that Carl did a great impersonation of Donald Duck, in my opinion, one of the best. Actually, Donald was Carl’s alter ego and it was as if I had lost two great loves when Carl died.

Last week Mr. Vegas and I were talking about his coming down, and he said there was someone who wanted to talk to me. There was a hesitation and the voice on the other end became Donald Duck. There was silence. Can’t describe it, but I was at a loss for words. It seemed as if Donald had become resurrected. Don’t like keeping secrets, but this might be the one truth that will stay buried. Told a friend who admitted she would have hung up. Jonathan, who for a 22-year-old has kept me grounded and given me great relationship advice, called it “creepy.”

Well, is it irony, coincidence, or is somebody trying to tell me something?