What a difference a year makes. It doesn’t seem all that long ago when I was bashing the lovers’ holiday known as Valentine’s Day or the annual “Bake Your Sweetheart Out” church celebration that made no sense to attend (or in all honesty who would want to attend) if you didn’t have a sweetheart.
Last Thursday Mr. Vegas e-mailed me and wished me a “Happy VD” (get the joke) and then clarified it. I called him when I got home from work and asked him if he would be my valentine. There was a short hesitation before he said, “Yes” (he was on a bus heading to the airport on his way home from a business trip).
This past Sunday was another in a long line of “Bake Your Sweetheart Out” galas. I really didn’t plan on attending, but Peggy said we would be each other’s valentines (don’t worry, no need for the tongues to wag). You’ve heard about the pie in the face, but the best part of the evening was Geron getting smacked with a small cake from the grand prizewinners for the second year in a row. It was quite an attractive tiered cake. I think retaliation is in the cards.
I wasn’t sure how the emotions would hold up this February in the year 2008. Februarys have been quite difficult since Carl’s death in 2002 and this is the first time the dates have corresponded to the actual days of six years ago. The memories will always be there and have kept my emotions in tact for the most part and have tried not to dwell on it.
Today on the commute home from work a few teardrops fell as I realized that on Wednesday, the 20th, I had to inform the powers that be to have all life support removed, and I stayed the night in Carl’s hospital room for what would be our last night together. Of course, I didn’t get a wink of sleep. Oops, the moisture has found its way down my cheeks once again.
I think Carl would be pleased that I’ve found a way to go on and find someone to fall in love with again. It seems somewhat uncouth (for lack of a better word) that I would be preparing to go on my first date during this time of year; however, I’m not consumed with guilt and feel good about myself and about life in general. Think that alone would put a smile on Carl’s face.
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2 comments:
So do I. Those who love us most would certainly want us to move ahead with our lives ... and our loves.
Laura and I only wish you the bes. Although I didn't know Carl, he sounds like the kind of man who valued life. I think he would be pleased to see you move along with yours.
Steve
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