EARLY MORNING SURPRISES

By now you already know that my parents live in a retirement facility near the church. One building is considered assisted living. The one Mom and Dad live in is known as independent living; however, there you probably can find just as many caregivers, walkers, and dementia-related illnesses. The laundry room, with six washers and dryers, is down in the basement. The exercise room, complete with treadmill, bicycle, Total Gym, Nustep, and elliptical machine, is on the top floor of the 14-story building.

Mom hates the inconvenience of going elsewhere to do laundry and goes before dawn to avoid the rush. This particular morning after putting the clothes in the dryer, Mom went to work out in the exercise room. The door was closed--an unusual sight. Mom opened the door and turned on the light. On the Total Gym sat one of the male residents. Mom walked over to the Nustep and looked over at the gentleman and as Gomer Pyle would say, “Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!” He had on a t-shirt. That’s it. Nothing else. Nearby on the floor lay a white piece of material. Mom kept looking to make sure he was bottomless (don’t tell Dad). The man got up (Mom thought he was going to put on his underwear), but he walked passed it toward another machine.

Mom went to the lobby to get some assistance. Finally found a female custodian who went with Mom to the exercise room. The man told her his name and Mom and the custodian walked him to his apartment located at the end of the hall. His wife answered the door. Both have Alzheimer’s and only have a caregiver during the day. Have a feeling that will soon change. By the way, the white lump of material on the floor--a wet washcloth.

Reminds me of a joke I recently heard--A man was walking down the street and noticed three elderly women lying in the front yard with no clothes on. When a neighbor walked up, the man asked him, “What are those elderly women doing in that yard with no clothes on?” He said, “Oh, those are former prostitutes and they are having a yard sale.”