HIDDEN TRUTHS REVEALED - PART 6

After graduation worked a few temporary jobs while deciding what route to take with my degree. A friend at church decided to move back to Houston and suggested I move there too. With no obligations and knowing my grandparents and Odies (my brother’s roommate for many years whom I considered a second brother) and Kathie (his wife who later was my matron of honor) lived there, I took the plunge and moved to Texas. Was excited about the change and stayed with my grandparents for a short time until I found a job and an apartment. Moved to the other end of town which would be closer to church and landed a job as a court clerk trainee in Criminal District Court.

When we talked on the phone, Joy seemed glad I was in town but always had an excuse for never getting together. I finally came to church and Odies and Kathie were pleased to see me after having talked on the phone a few times since my arrival. Joy appeared to be pleased to see me and we went to lunch and over to her friend’s house to hang out with some of the other singles. Being reserved I felt somewhat apprehensive with the new surroundings and people but tried my best to fit in. We weren’t there long and Joy had to go, leaving me with a room full of total strangers. Something seemed off but didn’t try to make anything of it. That night Joy saw me in the foyer before service but somewhat brushed me off. Great, another one bites the dust. Didn’t understand. Very confusing and should have called her on it. It would be a lie to say that it didn’t hurt.

While staying at my grandparents earlier, my relationship with my granddad became severed so even with Odies and Kathie around felt pretty much alone but was determined to make the most of the situation and concentrate on work. There was speculation that Joy really liked my brother when in New Mexico and Mom or Don wondered if she was using me to get closer to him. Whether that’s true, I have no idea but it sounded plausible and the only thing that made sense.

Tried to function and do recollect pushing myself, running hard, having mental lapses at work, and collapsing in bed every night from pure exhaustion. After four months, wanted to move back to Albuquerque. Although I had a car, my parents knew something was wrong and flew out to take me home. What can I say? Apparently I wasn’t eating much and they were horrified to see standing in front of them their 24-year-old, 5’6-½” tall, emaciated daughter who weighed 95 pounds. Every setback plummets you further down into a gutter of despair and failure and knew my parents were disappointed in me once again, and I was disappointed in myself.

(to be continued)