BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY

How many times have you been in a classroom setting and the teacher asked a question and said there was no right or wrong answer? How can you have any qualms about responding--you can’t be wrong. That wasn’t quite the case when sitting in a 9th grade Bible class in New Mexico. We were new to the congregation and having come from a much smaller church was quite a transition. One of the elders was the teacher. Don’t remember what the question was, but I chimed in with an answer. “No,” he said, with a few more added words. No was all it took. Woa! I thought there was no right or wrong answer. Well, that became a life-altering experience.

After that incident I clammed up in any type of classroom setting. Would not answer any question or make a suggestion and literally kept my mouth shut. Didn’t want to be wrong or feel the humiliation again. Any time a teacher would ask a question, I looked away or down at my desk and this technique worked. Well, it did until I met Professor Wirth. PW was just too smart for me.

Only three teachers taught the criminology courses at U of A. One was on the parole board, one was an assistant district attorney, and one was a former FBI agent--Professor Wirth, my favorite. He was a crusty man, but had a great sense of humor. He was tough, but made every class challenging. It never failed though, in every single class PW would constantly pick on me. I even tried making that eye contact, but PW still would call on me. It was very frustrating and somewhat disconcerting.

One day I went up to the office and talked to the department secretary and asked her why Professor Wirth constantly picked on me in class. She smiled and seemed quite amused. “Why, Debbie, he knows you have the answer because you’re always prepared.” I’m not so sure the same would be said if Jesus were to return today. (Guess this blog could have been titled, “Always be Prepared.”)

It takes a lot for me to speak up in a group situation, but still feel uncomfortable doing so and have a tendency to fall back on that old pattern of no eye contact. Recently that 9th grade incident came back to haunt me, so I’m back to square one again.

We should remember that people can get hurt by what we say and how we say it.