I DON’T THINK SO!

Working in a medical office you see an assortment of ailments from a little scratch to a full-blown cold. Students can schedule appointments to see a male or female doctor twice a week for a variety of reasons including physicals, prescriptions, referrals, gynecology exams, and because they plain just don’t feel good. There is no cost to see the doctor (in other words, no copay); however, charges are attached depending on what is done. For example, a Pap test is $30.

Certain times of the year, specific diseases or causes are emphasized throughout the campus through posters or fairs or lectures or…well, you get the picture. For example, October was breast cancer awareness month. The importance was stressed that a woman should get a regular mammogram.

Other individuals, students and staff alike, come in to the health center to discuss obesity, alcoholism, smoking, immunizations, stomach disorders, and cancer. And you know what is recommended for those over 50—a colonoscopy.

It had been over 10 years since I had a medical appointment. During September I was having a few difficulties and scheduled an appointment to see the doctor chosen as my primary care physician when I moved to Orange. Dr. B did what he could, recommended that I return to have a Pap test, and scheduled me for a mammogram. In October I had the mammogram and the results were normal. Returned to the doctor in November and had the Pap test done. While still in the exam room, Dr. B noticed the age listed on my chart and instructed me to go to his secretary and schedule a colonoscopy. I walked out the door. (Two of the three tests were completed; that was enough.)

Dr. B was on top of his game, and I didn’t get away scot-free--the form was mailed to my home. Suffice it to say, I scheduled that dreaded test. During Christmas break had a consultation with Dr. C and the procedure would be done on January 7. The instructions were as follows: 1) A liquid diet with no orange, red, or purple substances the day before. My diet of choice that day consisted of 7-Up, chicken broth, apple juice, lime gelatin, white grape juice (don’t buy Wal-Mart’s brand; stick with Welch’s), and lots of water to keep hydrated. 2) Be home by 3:00 and take two Ducolax tablets. 3) At 4:00 mix a bottle of Miralax with a 64-oz bottle of Gatorade (luckily Gatorade now comes in a lemonade flavor) and drink an 8-oz glass every 10-15 minutes until finished. 4) At 8:00 take two more Ducolax tablets. 5) Nothing by mouth after midnight. For a time I wondered if this stuff would ever start working. It did and continued even when at the medical center…very uncomfortable.

There I was on the gurney with an IV drip stuck in the fold of my right arm. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting and then finally wheeled into the operating room and given a dose of them good drugs. Out like a light and woke up in recovery with Mom’s face in sight and given two oatmeal cookies to kill the hunger pains until the doctor came to report the findings. Dr. C gave me the good news—the colonoscopy could not be completed and had to do the prep one more time. Felt miserable and Jonathan picked us up and dropped by CVS to buy another bottle of Miralax and Gatorade (no lemonade flavor and just that yucky lemon-lime). Couldn’t stomach any more but the doctor said to drink as much as possible. To make a long story short, didn’t keep much down, if you know what I mean. Felt absolutely horrible and just kept sitting in a chair with my head against the wall with a robe keeping me warm until it was time to go to bed.

Thursday morning came and knew I was dehydrated but fortunately the colonoscopy could be completed. However, felt lousy and still didn’t have much of an appetite. Actually don’t really remember Jonathan ever picking me up that second day. Apparently I was a little loopy after each procedure, probably more so than most.

On Friday ate more solid food but came down with a cold and fought that for a few days. By the way, my walking papers said that my colonoscopy was normal and they would see me again in five years. My thoughts…What was the title of this blog?