Where have you gone on a first date? To a movie? To dinner in a nice restaurant? To a concert? To an entertainment park? To a museum? How about to church? Well, last Saturday that is where I went with a gentleman from Thousand Oaks. Let’s call him Jack. Jack had attended Saddleback for a few years, and I always wanted to go. Fortunately, this was the weekend Rick Warren would actually be speaking. Even after writing several best selling books, some people still have never heard of him, but now I’m sure Rick Warren is a household name since moderating the Obama/McCain forum last month.
Saddleback could be compared to a college campus. It is a huge place with several buildings on tons of acreage. Saddleback was continuing a sermon series titled “40 Days of Love” and this particular weekend (Saddleback has two services on Saturday evening and four services on Sunday) the topic was “Love is not Easily Angered.” (I Corinthians 13:5). The sermon was great. It spoke to me. The one sermon that I needed to hear. The one sermon that would have been so beneficial years ago but still pertinent now….Isn’t it amazing…first date…I wanted to try Saddleback…the sermon struck home (but most sermons do).
There was an outline, and I kept writing notes. The sermon was so thought provoking, it seemed appropriate to share this information with those who may need a little help in this area. So I’ll summarize and plagiarize, borrow, and steel what Rick Warren said on Saturday, October 11, 2008.
How do you tame your temper?
1. RESOLVE TO MANAGE IT
“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” Prov. 29:11.
Stop making excuses. You choose to be angry. Nothing can make me mad; it’s my choice.
2. REMEMBER THE COST (of controlled anger)
“A hot-tempered man…gets into all kinds of trouble.” Prov. 29:22
“Hot tempers cause arguments.” Prov. 15:18
“…anger causes mistakes.” Prov. 14:29
“People with hot tempers do foolish things.” Prov. 14:17
“The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left.” Prov. 11:29
You always lose when you lose your temper.
Anger alienates and creates more anger.
3. REFLECT BEFORE REACTING (don’t respond impulsively)
“A stupid man gives free rein to his anger; a wise man waits and lets it grow cool.” Prov. 29:11
“A man’s wisdom gives him patience.” Prov 19:11
“Lord, help me control my tongue; help me be careful about what I say.” Psalm 141:3
“Drinking too much makes you loud and foolish. It’s stupid to get drunk.” Prov. 20:1
The #1 cause to react before reflecting is drinking.
Anger control is mouth control.
“Chill out” is a biblical tool.
Can’t put your foot in your mouth when it’s closed.
Ask 3 questions:
*Why am I angry?
*What do I really want?
*How can I get it?
Resentment is always sin.
Try to understand your anger and everybody else’s anger.
Try to look beyond anger and look at the hurt.
You get angry because:
*Hurt (physically and emotionally)
*Frustration (when you feel out of control you get angry)
*Fear (when feeling attacked, threatened)
Anger and insecurity go together
4. RELEASE MY ANGER APPROPRIATELY
“If you become angry, don’t let your anger lead you into sin.” Eph. 4:26
“A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up.” Prov. 15:1
Anger is learned
Talk slower and lower
Anger is contagious
Best way to deal with anger:
*Don’t suppress it (push it down)
*Don’t repress it (deny)
*Don’t express it
*Confess it (admit to self, God, and other person)
Repressed anger is depression (#1 reason for it)
Two words for marriage counseling: GROW UP (selfishness and immaturity)
5. REPATTERN MY MIND
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” Rom. 12:2a
“Keep away from angry, short-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them…” Prov. 22:24
To break the habit of anger you need to reprogram mind; change relationships
Battle for anger starts in the mind
6. RELY ON GOD’S HELP
“Patience and encouragement come from God. I pray God will help you all agree with each other the way Christ Jesus wants.” Rom. 15:5
“The fruit of the Spirit is…patience” Gal. 5:22
“Whatever is in your heart determines what you say.” Matt. 12:34
“I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I’ll remove the stone heart from our body and replace it with a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed.” Ezek. 36:26
Heart of the problem is what’s in your heart.
What’s in your heart is what’s going to come out of your mouth.
God specializes in heart transplants
Rick also said men use 25,000 words a day and women 30,000. One day a man was asked, “Doesn’t it bother you when your wife has the last word? The man replied, “No, I’m grateful when it is her last.”
Hopefully, these little tidbits and some self-reflection have assisted you in getting a better handle on your anger issues. It certainly did for me. Who would have guessed that a week later this man named Jack would dump me because he didn’t find me physically attractive. (Can you imagine that?) Obviously, I was meant to hear this sermon on how to tame my temper.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
TO APPEASE M-O-M
I have been called many things in my 52 years of living, but being compared with the liberal, drive-by media who only tell half the story, well…
For those who thought my mother to be a wimp let me set the record straight. My mom thinks she fainted during her first root canal because she had suffered from pain all weekend. Years later, Mom had a second root canal. She was fully awake. No Novocain. No anesthesia. No ill effects. My mom is as tough as they come.
Love you, Mom. (Am I still in the will?)
For those who thought my mother to be a wimp let me set the record straight. My mom thinks she fainted during her first root canal because she had suffered from pain all weekend. Years later, Mom had a second root canal. She was fully awake. No Novocain. No anesthesia. No ill effects. My mom is as tough as they come.
Love you, Mom. (Am I still in the will?)
Monday, October 6, 2008
OPEN WIDE
If we were to play a round of the Family Feud: Of the 100 people surveyed, name a place people dread going to. Answer: The dentist (ding). I would say the dentist would probably have the highest percentage of the responses (unless you consider the electric chair). Wonder why? Choking? Blood? Feeling as if you are drowning in your own saliva? Sound of the drill? Never knowing what will be found? Pain? More pain? EXTREME PAIN?
Although it was uncomfortable and sometimes painful, going to the dentist never really bothered me. Hated getting fillings many years ago but newer procedures are being used that minimize the pain (of course, I haven’t had a root canal or wisdom teeth removed).
Throughout the majority of my employment career I’ve had medical benefits and received the two cleanings per year allotment. Had to pay a portion for a few crowns or some pre periodontal and gingivitis treatments. When you don’t have insurance, you tend not to go as regularly, but I’ve always brushed and flossed, and a few years ago started scraping the tongue…if you’ve never bought a tongue scraper, might I suggest you run out and buy one; it works wonders…this is starting to become a gross piece of writing…Anyway, since moving from San Diego County, I’ve gone to four different dentists and had four different opinions. Yes, it’s now a known fact that my gums are receding which seems a big deal to some and not so much to others. The last dentist charged $75 for deep cleaning and stain removal (had insurance). Inquired about the stains since I don’t smoke, drink coffee, or tea. Asked whether mouthwash or my insatiable craving of chocolate-coated protein bars could be the culprits. He said, “No.” Continued my regular teeth maintenance and the stains reappeared. Received a tidbit through the email regarding hydrogen peroxide—can use it as a mouthwash and decided to try it and sure enough the stains disappeared and also the occasional swelling of the gums no longer occurred.
After moving to Orange County I had to find another dentist. Luckily one dentist right next door was on my provider list. Made my first appointment for a cleaning. The first appointment of almost every dentist I’ve gone to consisted only of x-rays and examination. Never the main thing you wanted to have done and a succeeding appointment was necessary.
Went to my appointment Friday. By the name I sensed the dentist probably was Asian and sure enough everyone in the office was Asian (maybe they were all related). For the most part I’ve known Asians to be very polite and try to please and can be somewhat frugal but since working in the health center, there are some in that ethnic group, students and staff alike, who are very rude, obnoxious, and demanding.
While sitting in the waiting room filling out my paperwork, a female patient entered the front door and signed in. She was there for extractions and started asking what was being done. They were continuing with the root canal. She was somewhat confused and a little nervous and didn’t know what to expect. I could have chimed in and said my mother fainted when she had her first one, but thought it best to keep my mouth shut.
Dr. C introduced herself and asked if I was having any problems. Then a young kid took my x-rays. He was very polite. Dr. C showed me the results and said things looked good and acknowledged my receding gumline but there was no need for concern. Then she proceeded to do the cleaning and explained the new procedure that would be used that had been received with favorable comments and wanted my opinion at the end. She explained everything thoroughly and showed me the instrument and said, “Excuse me” before inserting it into my mouth. Her female assistant held the suction tube but did notice her head turning away quite frequently…What a gross sight it must be which makes me wonder why on earth anybody would ever choose to go into this profession. At the end I honestly can say that I only felt an occasional twinge. Told the doctor it was great and asked her about the staining problems. She advised that peroxide is a whitener so it would remove the stains but suggested it was unnecessary to use it full strength. The assistant commenced to polish my teeth and before she inserted the instrument she also said, “Excuse me.” Then later, “Open more please. Open more please. Thank you.” Yes, a very polite group of people.
The overall experience—didn’t wait long, didn’t have much pain, and didn’t cost me a cent. A very good experience indeed.
Although it was uncomfortable and sometimes painful, going to the dentist never really bothered me. Hated getting fillings many years ago but newer procedures are being used that minimize the pain (of course, I haven’t had a root canal or wisdom teeth removed).
Throughout the majority of my employment career I’ve had medical benefits and received the two cleanings per year allotment. Had to pay a portion for a few crowns or some pre periodontal and gingivitis treatments. When you don’t have insurance, you tend not to go as regularly, but I’ve always brushed and flossed, and a few years ago started scraping the tongue…if you’ve never bought a tongue scraper, might I suggest you run out and buy one; it works wonders…this is starting to become a gross piece of writing…Anyway, since moving from San Diego County, I’ve gone to four different dentists and had four different opinions. Yes, it’s now a known fact that my gums are receding which seems a big deal to some and not so much to others. The last dentist charged $75 for deep cleaning and stain removal (had insurance). Inquired about the stains since I don’t smoke, drink coffee, or tea. Asked whether mouthwash or my insatiable craving of chocolate-coated protein bars could be the culprits. He said, “No.” Continued my regular teeth maintenance and the stains reappeared. Received a tidbit through the email regarding hydrogen peroxide—can use it as a mouthwash and decided to try it and sure enough the stains disappeared and also the occasional swelling of the gums no longer occurred.
After moving to Orange County I had to find another dentist. Luckily one dentist right next door was on my provider list. Made my first appointment for a cleaning. The first appointment of almost every dentist I’ve gone to consisted only of x-rays and examination. Never the main thing you wanted to have done and a succeeding appointment was necessary.
Went to my appointment Friday. By the name I sensed the dentist probably was Asian and sure enough everyone in the office was Asian (maybe they were all related). For the most part I’ve known Asians to be very polite and try to please and can be somewhat frugal but since working in the health center, there are some in that ethnic group, students and staff alike, who are very rude, obnoxious, and demanding.
While sitting in the waiting room filling out my paperwork, a female patient entered the front door and signed in. She was there for extractions and started asking what was being done. They were continuing with the root canal. She was somewhat confused and a little nervous and didn’t know what to expect. I could have chimed in and said my mother fainted when she had her first one, but thought it best to keep my mouth shut.
Dr. C introduced herself and asked if I was having any problems. Then a young kid took my x-rays. He was very polite. Dr. C showed me the results and said things looked good and acknowledged my receding gumline but there was no need for concern. Then she proceeded to do the cleaning and explained the new procedure that would be used that had been received with favorable comments and wanted my opinion at the end. She explained everything thoroughly and showed me the instrument and said, “Excuse me” before inserting it into my mouth. Her female assistant held the suction tube but did notice her head turning away quite frequently…What a gross sight it must be which makes me wonder why on earth anybody would ever choose to go into this profession. At the end I honestly can say that I only felt an occasional twinge. Told the doctor it was great and asked her about the staining problems. She advised that peroxide is a whitener so it would remove the stains but suggested it was unnecessary to use it full strength. The assistant commenced to polish my teeth and before she inserted the instrument she also said, “Excuse me.” Then later, “Open more please. Open more please. Thank you.” Yes, a very polite group of people.
The overall experience—didn’t wait long, didn’t have much pain, and didn’t cost me a cent. A very good experience indeed.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
QUITE SURPRISED
Have had my share of aches and pains or those “just don’t feel that great” days but usually ignore the discomfort and just go on with business with an occasional popping of a pill. Seldom do I feel bad enough to stay home or change my daily routine (or more accurately, my exercise routine).
Since moving from Long Beach the commuting switched from weekday roundtrips to work to Sunday roundtrips to church. Woke up Sunday morning and didn’t feel great and slept about two hours later than usual (making it around 6:30) but knew I would feel better if I went for my daily walk, but decided to cut it short. Offered to drive and pick up Mom and Dad at a church they have attended previously but decided I could at least make it through worship at Long Beach. Mom didn’t like the idea of my going so far just in case something happened and she would have to drive home. Rested a little and had every intention to go to Long Beach but at the moment a ½ mile commute and a 45-minute service was more alluring. Knew it would not be my cup of tea but you go to please and worship God, not to be entertained. And have always gotten some inspired tidbit from any sermon.
The building had architectural presence but attendance was sparse, those members being elderly with the majority living in the retirement center next door, including the pastor. The service started with a song from the hymnal…one I never heard before…along with piano accompaniment. The song leader needed to power it down. The pastor offered a prayer and gave the announcements, followed by the offering (communion is only once a month), and then another song--Bringing in the Sheaves (reminded me of an episode of The Waltons). Another gentleman led a prayer where he was sitting and then the Ladies Trio belted out a song (yes, I think that was their real name)—three ladies with similar white coiffures, dressed in identical-patterned attire but different colors each with matching stringed pearls. Not half bad. Sang on pitch but still a reminder of what I’d see on Lawrence Welk. After only 15 minutes into the service, the sermon began. It was titled, The Gospel, Paul Preached with Scrupulous Devotion (I Tim 4:6-16). Pastor Bob was a very good speaker and talked about the lack of sound doctrine being preached in many churches today and considered the five fundamentals of the gospel to be as follows: 1) belief in the Deity, 2) that Jesus is the son of God, 3) salvation only comes through Jesus, 4) belief in the resurrection, and 5) belief in the second coming. Although I’m sure these truisms were discussed, my only recollection while growing up in the C of C were the five steps to becoming a Christian: hear, believe, repent, confess, and be baptized.
The sermon ran 30 minutes long…and, yes, actually did time it because curiosity got the best of me to see if this guy would top some of those long-winded preachers I’ve been fortunate to hear.
We were home by 11:00 and it was surprisingly not as bad as I had expected, but still missed being at Long Beach. Decided to crash on my sleeping bag…You know, feeling sick is the only time I really miss having a bed.
Since moving from Long Beach the commuting switched from weekday roundtrips to work to Sunday roundtrips to church. Woke up Sunday morning and didn’t feel great and slept about two hours later than usual (making it around 6:30) but knew I would feel better if I went for my daily walk, but decided to cut it short. Offered to drive and pick up Mom and Dad at a church they have attended previously but decided I could at least make it through worship at Long Beach. Mom didn’t like the idea of my going so far just in case something happened and she would have to drive home. Rested a little and had every intention to go to Long Beach but at the moment a ½ mile commute and a 45-minute service was more alluring. Knew it would not be my cup of tea but you go to please and worship God, not to be entertained. And have always gotten some inspired tidbit from any sermon.
The building had architectural presence but attendance was sparse, those members being elderly with the majority living in the retirement center next door, including the pastor. The service started with a song from the hymnal…one I never heard before…along with piano accompaniment. The song leader needed to power it down. The pastor offered a prayer and gave the announcements, followed by the offering (communion is only once a month), and then another song--Bringing in the Sheaves (reminded me of an episode of The Waltons). Another gentleman led a prayer where he was sitting and then the Ladies Trio belted out a song (yes, I think that was their real name)—three ladies with similar white coiffures, dressed in identical-patterned attire but different colors each with matching stringed pearls. Not half bad. Sang on pitch but still a reminder of what I’d see on Lawrence Welk. After only 15 minutes into the service, the sermon began. It was titled, The Gospel, Paul Preached with Scrupulous Devotion (I Tim 4:6-16). Pastor Bob was a very good speaker and talked about the lack of sound doctrine being preached in many churches today and considered the five fundamentals of the gospel to be as follows: 1) belief in the Deity, 2) that Jesus is the son of God, 3) salvation only comes through Jesus, 4) belief in the resurrection, and 5) belief in the second coming. Although I’m sure these truisms were discussed, my only recollection while growing up in the C of C were the five steps to becoming a Christian: hear, believe, repent, confess, and be baptized.
The sermon ran 30 minutes long…and, yes, actually did time it because curiosity got the best of me to see if this guy would top some of those long-winded preachers I’ve been fortunate to hear.
We were home by 11:00 and it was surprisingly not as bad as I had expected, but still missed being at Long Beach. Decided to crash on my sleeping bag…You know, feeling sick is the only time I really miss having a bed.
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